Weird Shit Velcro – Stories About Navigating The Human Landscape

I have captivated all of my friends and family for many years with my dating and daily life stories. Thus, this blog is my opportunity to share these amusing and ridiculous anecdotes with anyone who is interested, bored with their life, passing time or just has the awesome, shit ass luck to run upon it by chance. If nothing else, you will be entertained…start with March 20 "You will be entertained….too good to make up."


Ode To The Fat Man….

My best friend died about seven weeks ago and I lost a bit of my heart and soul. He had four legs, an incredibly cute wiggle and gave me a reason to get out of bed every day. I would not have survived cancer without Hugo and frankly its hard to survive without him. I never understood the love that an animal could bring to one’s life until I met this dog. He was special in every way. That is not to say he was easy. He was not. He was stubborn and needy to the core. I had 50 stitches in my face as a result of an encounter 6 months into his life but thankfully I had a great friend who knew an even greater plastic surgeon. But he was so amazing and incredibly smart and taught me more about patience and unconditional love than anyone or thing ever has. And that went both ways. And I will forever be grateful. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I will never wrap my arms around that cute body or scratch his tush again. His nickname was The Fat Man. And I know I will always miss him. I cry every day but I hope one day that does stop.

I haven’t written in quite a while. Partly because shortly after I created weirdshitvelcro the weird shit in my life that stuck to me incrementally increased and partly because recently I haven’t felt inspired. Or moved by very much. That’s not to say that I haven’t had a ton of interesting experiences, toe dipping back into careers of past with characters galore, crazy dates that should inspire stories but the story is often the same and thus becomes mundane.

New York has become, well, stale to me. I have decided to move on. My life here has ended and I need to leave before I end my life. I came, I saw, I did and I had success. Now, I feel as if the city has chewed me up and spat me out like a stale piece of fish. It’s all happened and it’s been great and fun and hard and easy and cold and hard and wrong and right and rigid and tough and silly and exuberant and excruciating and now I am done.

It’s a year later than I thought I would leave but sometimes things don’t happen when you think they will.

So the story continues…..and until I get inspired think GOOD SHIT VELCRO…and yes I bought the domain name a bit ago as I think this is what I need in life. Not weird but good as does everyone I know. Photos of the fat man….I miss you Hugo. Xoxo

DSC_0722Hugo Aug 2008CIMG0705CIMG0708CIMG1310

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Top Ten Things I learned via my dog…during the big “C” and after… If you know Hugo and my Hugo “voice” you have experienced. If you don’t but know me, you can imagine….if you don’t know me….well then just read and be…

10. You can make any place you live cozy.
9. It’s all just stuff.
8. People show their real colors during cancer.
7. Why wait?
6. Do everything!
5. Seek Peace.
4. Learn to meditate (still need to).
3. Get new people.
2. Climb to new heights.
1. Imagine…then be. And do it! (working on it…)

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Tindertown in NYC…what an expeditious way to date…anonymous but yet my world still collides….


I clearly haven’t written in quite some time….May 14 actually as it’s been pointed out via email by several friends, readers and strangers. That doesn’t mean that I am not writing but it just means that I am not necessarily sharing. I can’t possibly share all and I must leave some room for your imagination as well as an appetite for the real story of my life to come in some other more interesting format. In reality every time I leave my house there is actually an interesting/weird story or incident and if I were to share them all it would truly blow your mind. And it’s exhausting….being me. But I don’t think I would trade it…at least it’s all an adventure and all certainly part of the story.

I put myself on Tinder after two friends urged me to do so and I’ve had 10+ dates in two weeks. I’m not kidding actually. YUP more than 10. None great. Only one sort of horrific date – from New Orleans, looked like the Joker (not kidding – so wanted to take a photo), didn’t drink (from NOLA!!!) and super creepy and dodgy. I was happy to leave with all of my body parts. Following which the date thereafter knew my brother who had actually taken one of his Tinder pics and knew two friends and my old boss. The world it too small!!

Anyway, last week I had date with a guy who from the get go was not my “type” in any sort of way (not that I have one to be honest but this was clearly not going to be a romantic endeavor) and he chose a semi-seedy “rooftop bar” in mid-town west for us to have a drink. I wasn’t thrilled but decided to make the best of my mandatory 30 minutes. Next thing I knew, literally next to me a large projection screen was erected and, me being me, I decided to find out what it was all about. I walked up to the more than middle aged officiant and saw the word marijuana on the literature he was holding. Now, I was a bit tired so I said “that looks like the word marijuana on there” and he emphatically said “yes we are the Marijuana Business Association and we are having a “Meet Up” here. What luck I thought to myself! Could there be a better way to entertain myself while on a boring date but having a bunch of pot enthusiasts talking about legalizing marijuana in NY?! Fascinating. Budtender…hmmm I know a couple people who might like that job. You know who you are…


So there we were the only ones in the entire bar NOT there for the meet up event and, as we sat sipping cocktails listening to the Libertarian candidate who is running for Governor of NY speak, we both decided to use the event as a business opportunity. He got some potential financial business out of it and apparently will be sponsoring an event for the physicians they invite and, well, for me, it got me thinking about law, marketing and how much this exponentially growing industry will need both. Hmmmm so many thoughts. Still processing.  Quite a productive evening! Part One.

Part two, believe it or not I thereafter had a date with an ex-ad exec turned paramedic who lives in my hood. May as well pack them in back to back I say…and pot to a paramedic – it’s just too cliché! Anyway, it’s a numbers game. Or so I am told. One would think I would have surpassed the requisite number(s) by now! Can’t fault a girl for trying!

It was my bday this week so I thought I would share some of my favorite shots and sites from the last few months….my bday photo! Ahhh the Hudson Valley meets champagne and a dear friend!



Yeah you know it….


Who could need more?


LOVE THIS!!  Bring on the gluten!


Times Square people watching…classic encounter on my way to the theater….tip-worthy


And then there was the “red party” last week…don’t ask. Felt like a weird V-day party in August….but cool fish!


And let’s not forget all the great music from the last month or two….you hopefully remember this kid….


Dave Malone’s birthday party….



And lastly, friends who are on board with WSV….thank you!! You rock!! xo

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In life there are no coincidences….it’s all happening for a reason that will hopefully unfold….

“There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.” ― Albert Einstein,

“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” ― Albert EinsteinThe World As I See It    

There are no coincidences…it’s all happening for a reason.  That’s what I keep telling myself. I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in 14 years last night randomly as I walked into a restaurant on the spur of the moment…the same restaurant which is located in the exact same spot where I applied for a job at Club Med when I was 22.  Last year, I sat in the exact same seat in which I interviewed for my Club Med job, now that it’s a restaurant, and planned my departure from NYC.  Today I ran into another old friend from college on the street in midtown who I haven’t seen in 14 years…..both of these people live in LA and work in the entertainment business. A business which I still entertain the thought of re-entering… what’s the reason? There must be a reason….something to ponder. What are the reasons why things are happening in your life? Good, bad, interesting, mundane. Think about it. 

Below is something that I came across that just makes me laugh every time I read it. And I love Christmas! Happy humpday. What a weird phrase….



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Firsts…Flying and John Denver…Live, Laugh, Love….

Back from a long weekend in Boulder and listening to the song “Fly Away” by John Denver (solo) for the first time and boy it resonates. I am also wondering if this is why my two recurring dreams that I have had since I was a child end with me running in a grassy area, literally taking off with my arms outstretched (think airplane) and flying above all the trees and looking down at the beauty of nature. Ahhh how I miss nature.  I hiked up Mount Sanitas this weekend during the only few hours of sunshine Boulder had this weekend and it was amazing!


It’s come to me on many occasions recently that firsts are (generally) the best. Your first real kiss. Ever. For me, it happened while at tennis/golf camp in NH (now you get a sense of my upbringing and I picked it) – age 12. I was there to kick the shit out of some tennis balls. Peter was 13 – he was there for tennis too.  Both of us were from outside of Philadelphia. Competing schools. Odd how that happened in retrospect. And Steve was my first real crush. He was also 13. Yes I know I just said I kissed Peter but you will understand when you read the next paragraph.  Steve happened to live in Rhode Island and my mom happened to have just started dating someone who I liked a whole lot better after I learned he had a summer house in, coincidentally, Rhode Island.  And my 12 year old self decided that Steve was the cutest, most incredible guy ever and was going to be the first person I ever slept with. And he was. Again read on for the age. Don’t get crazy. And anyone who knows me knows that I only use the first letter of people’s names in this blog but yes those are their real names.  

Anyway, yes back to firsts.  Your first whiff of your lover’s scent. A first kiss with someone you really care about.  A first kiss with someone you know you are never going to ever really care about.  Or my first kiss with the one I loved long before we ever, ever kissed.  Your first love.  Your first concert. Mine was The Police Synchronicity Tour. Dating myself maybe but I was 12. Do the math. Whatever. Really intense first eye contact with someone you don’t know. The first time you drove. Nantucket for me – stick shift on dirt roads at the age of 9.  The first time you had sex.  I was 17, almost 18 (yes Steve).  Late bloomer among my friends. Still am apparently. Only in the traditional ways. The first, and in my case, only, time I got (or will have) cancer.  Since it was caught by accident and was early, it actually was a good first.  

First dates. LOTS of first dates.  Again.  Only two second dates. Where the hell is my last first date!!!  A first hug that lasted an hour. Who knew that could even happen?! But it did somewhat recently.  And it was truly incredible.   And easy. But, as I have said, perception is a fascinating thing.  Maybe I just needed a really great hug that day and that’s all it was after our first great, sunny day in New York.  Maybe not. Who knows and I probably will never find out.  Father and son simultaneous pick up attempt this past weekend at the St. Julien. The son was a very recent college graduate – it was CU graduation weekend which is why I was there – Eric Stough was the keynote speaker.  I was the ball in their testosterone tennis match.  Kid thought I was 24, then 26 max (nice but a little ridiculous) and I don’t think the father cared about my age but I was a good bit younger than he.

My first time in a legal, recreational pot dispensary in Colorado. Now that was really fascinating….take a number, hang out in the waiting room on the couch with regular looking people and even a family with a grandmother, mother with a Channel bag and preppy flats and her maybe 20 year old daughter all shopping together and making it a family affair.  Well it actually was the day before Mother’s Day. Maybe they were buying gifts.  When my number was called, my friend Steff and I walked into the back room which was essentially a store with a few stations.  Very knowledgeable staff and the selection was quite diverse – bud of course and every product type had a variety of strengths. Now even though I have smoked my fair share and ate some candy to get though chemo, I am not well versed in THC milligrams. There were different strength pills. Different strength candy bars in Oreo cookie and a variety of other flavors. Hard candy came in 10, 25 and 50mg. Drops in five flavors – watermelon, plain, spearmint, vanilla and cinnamon – I was paying attention.  It was quite an operation.   Now I understand Rocky Mountain High even better.







Back in the loneliest city in the world.  First night sitting on a chaise on my terrace drinking port I brought back from Lisbon under an almost full moon in the warm weather though which is so great.  Boulder was beautiful but snow and hail in May is fucking absurd.  But NYC doesn’t feel right either. For more than a night or two.

Self pep talk….

Need to fly.

Before I die.

Here amongst the cement.

But where?

Want to see the ocean.

Put my feet in the sand.

Hear the waves ripple.

And climb up a canyon.

Want a partner.

But how? 

If I move he will come.

Life is so short.

I need to make it happen.

My work motto – There is never no…there is only how. And that’s NOW.

LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE as it says below……OFTEN! Well, I’ve got two outa three. I am on my way!


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From yoga and kale to beer and pizza to pompous and plain old douche-y…back in the dating game…and a Yankee….

Perception is such an interesting thing.   It has often been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but in reality, in the day of electronic devices and neuroscience, what does that really mean? Beauty is subjective for sure but I don’t think having a good character is.  I don’t think being good hearted is subjective.  Or being able to recognize when someone has good intentions or ill intentions. I have been told that I have high standards.  That I shouldn’t hold everyone to my standards of what to do or not do.  I will admit that I do have a problem saying no to those who need me but I still think that being a good person in one’s core is of utmost importance in life. At least in my life.  I am a work in progress. 

So…back in the dating “game” so to speak and it’s been interesting. I have a knack, as you may have gathered, for meeting people pretty much everywhere I go but actually putting yourself proactively back in the dating scene is sort of fascinating.  It has made me think about what’s really important. What I am really looking for. What I really care about.  And the answers are clear and yet not clear.  Post cancer I must say my perspective has, probably rightfully, changed a bit.  It has also been interesting to see what other people care about – i.e. potential suitors – while taking a deep plunge back into the life of being actively single in NYC.  Some men are very superficial – shocker I know. Thankfully, I apparently do not disappoint, and in fact surpass my photos, in the physical sense which I suppose is good.  Some “men” (term is used loosely on purpose) are introspective.  One liked to hunt, fish, hike and go boating while another, who lied about his height and age, touted his $2000 wallet from the oldest saddlery company in the UK which he had just purchased (the saddlery company that is).  One maintains an alkaline diet and does yoga seemingly non-stop while another golfs and eats primarily white carbs.  It’s been a while since I have proactively taken this stance and I frankly only did it because my Australian friend asked me when the last time was that I had a date in NYC.  And I honestly couldn’t remember.  The question gave me great pause actually.  I dated a few people from outside the country last year, outside the city the year before while undergoing treatment but in even NY state….hmmmm……I couldn’t remember the last date I had in the state or city.  So why the fuck not I figured.  And I should probably share that giving up the “F” word didn’t really work. I was up to $31 in 24 hours as apparently it turns out that my mother was right about something and I do have a mouth like a sailor.  I decided four days in that, while I am trying to figure out my career and start dating again, I simply couldn’t afford to also give up the “F” word. Life is too stressful and it was simply too expensive of an enterprise so I abandoned the idea. Next year back to sugar.

Anyway, spring is trying to bloom in NYC.  I went to a Yankees game tonight as well as two weeks ago.  I must admit that when I enter that stadium I can’t help but think about the fact that I turned down a date with Derek Jeter.   Now I am a baseball fan but I have always been a Phillies fan.  Growing up outside of Philadelphia after all. So it was, GASP, ten years ago when my friend Brian and I went to a party at Tavern on the Green and I played the awesome wing woman that I have been known to be.  I was a few cocktails in and I asked Brian who he wanted to meet. He pointed to an attractive girl and I said “ok I got it.” I walked over to her and said “Hi. My friend over there is a great guy and I would love to introduce you.” She responded that she was married. Albeit, again I must mention that I had a few cocktails and I am a GOOD friend thus I retorted “Well, I can’t imagine that your husband is any better than my friend over there” as I pointed. She came back with “I am married to Jorge Posada.” I said “I have no idea who that is.” She said “he’s the catcher for the Yankees.” I boldly said “well…(pause)…he can’t be that much better than my friend but I understand.” So I befriended Laura and, as we casually chatted, she mentioned she had a cute sister.  Perfect I thought as we sashayed our way back to Brian and I introduced Laura who became our friend for the evening.  About an hour later after getting to know one another a bit, Laura said to me (in front of Brian) “I want to set you up with someone.” “Who?’ I said. “Derek Jeter” she said. “He’s not my type” was my instantaneous response. Brian gasped. She said “really? Because you are completely his type.” I said “really.” And the subject was dropped for a while. Later, she was leaving she gave me her card and said “if you change your mind give me a call. Seriously. You are totally his type.”  I never called or emailed her.  Brian scolded me that night and for many nights thereafter.

In July of 2011, I picked up the New York Times and, on the front page, there was a photo of Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada hugging after Jeter hit 3,000.  I called Brian, who I hadn’t spoken to in a few years since he moved to Miami. When he answered the phone, my first sentence was “remind me why I didn’t want to go on a date with Derek Jeter?”  He emphatically stated “I have no idea. I would have gone on a date with him!” Yup I thought as I stared at the newspaper that day and as I watched him play tonight as his team begins a steep decline for the season.  My prediction after a 13 to 1 loss against the Angels tonight.  That said, perhaps I should have gone on the date just for the story….although this is a pretty good story in my opinion and, in the end, as many have said, I would have ended up with the standard token basket of crap he sends after his dates.  Good decision.  Still not my type.  Dating and Yankees games – yes this is what comes to mind. 

A few photos of NYC where spring is desperately trying to spring, interesting and  thought provoking scenes, new friends as well as, of course, Yankee stadium. Oh and the hugging picture of course!!






Boy can I relate to this…





New friends with a new idea…albeit not tremendously unique but they were enthusiastic…




In case you are interested…




I couldn’t resist…




When spring doesn’t come to you, you have to go find it. At the Botanical Gardens Orchid Show….amazing…











I gave up the F word for Lent….and I already owe $6….

I am not a particularly religious person. Truth be told I am not sure what I believe in in terms of religion per se but I do believe in some sort of higher power and that many things that happen are not merely coincidences.  That said, I got myself baptized about 10 years ago – I think because someone had told me when I was a kid that I was going to hell if I wasn’t baptized. So after years of thinking about it and researching, I walked into an Episcopalian church on the upper west side one Sunday and the female minister, Lillian, who would later become a dear friend, was quoting Bob Dillon and I thought “I can hang here”.  Lillian came to understand that, as I had disclosed when we met, I was never going to be the person who comes to church every week or even once a month and sits in the front row.

I have since moved to another part of town and haven’t found a new church.  Frankly, my favorite time to go to church is when no one is there as it’s a quiet place to think and reflect.  I also like to attend midnight mass on Christmas Eve, sometimes Easter services and Ash Wednesday administration of the ashes.  That was today.

I started giving up things for Lent about five years ago just to see if I could do without for 40 days. Things I love. Generally food related.  One year it was sugar and I was a bitch on wheels for the first week. Sugar withdrawal is rough even when one isn’t a big candy eater.  The next year it was just dessert, not all sugar. The following it was cheese. You get the gist. So this year I contemplated giving up alcohol. I really did for a day or two.  But last night I realized after I signed up for for a month to provide some entertainment as well as to throw my hat in the ring again to hopefully meet someone that I am not sure I can endure some of those blind date meetings without at least one glass of a pain killer/social lubricant. Thus, alcohol was off the table.

So tonight as I showered quickly rushing to make it to church at 6PM it came to me. As all my good ideas do come – when I am in the shower. I decided to give up saying the F word for 40 days. Yes that was it I thought to myself as I combed conditioner through my hair swiftly. I am sure there is something perhaps sacrilegious about giving up a word like this for Lent but I think the higher powers would be cool with me not cursing as much.  Could I do it I wondered? I know it is a foul word some say but I happen to love that word. It’s so versatile. It’s a verb, an adjective, a noun, an adverb (google “the F word” – it’s funny and the video will explain it) so hopefully you get it.  Anyway, I know it happens to slip out here and there and, I must add, some have found it offensive from time to time so I figured it’s worth a shot.

Knowing myself a bit, ok a lot, I decided to up the ante and committed that I would put a dollar in a jar for every F word that utters my lips for the next 40 days.  So I already owe $6 and it’s only been six hours. Ugh.  I know this makes me out to be a very foul mouthed cursing maniac which I am not. Really! But I do love this word even though it is… well… not well appreciated by everyone. I also decided to keep a daily video log of how it’s going. Perhaps some interviews. May make it into a short. We will see.

After Easter, the entire jar will be donated to a charity of my choice.  In fact, tonight I thought that it might be the perfect start for a new charity that a friend and I were discussing the other day. We will see but it seems like this may be much more difficult than sugar. Or I will just have to keep my mouth shut for 40 days…..hmmm…never gonna happen. Thank God I kept the booze!


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