Weird Shit Velcro – Stories About Navigating The Human Landscape

I have captivated all of my friends and family for many years with my dating and daily life stories. Thus, this blog is my opportunity to share these amusing and ridiculous anecdotes with anyone who is interested, bored with their life, passing time or just has the awesome, shit ass luck to run upon it by chance. If nothing else, you will be entertained…start with March 20 "You will be entertained….too good to make up."


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From yoga and kale to beer and pizza to pompous and plain old douche-y…back in the dating game…and a Yankee….

Perception is such an interesting thing.   It has often been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but in reality, in the day of electronic devices and neuroscience, what does that really mean? Beauty is subjective for sure but I don’t think having a good character is.  I don’t think being good hearted is subjective.  Or being able to recognize when someone has good intentions or ill intentions. I have been told that I have high standards.  That I shouldn’t hold everyone to my standards of what to do or not do.  I will admit that I do have a problem saying no to those who need me but I still think that being a good person in one’s core is of utmost importance in life. At least in my life.  I am a work in progress. 

So…back in the dating “game” so to speak and it’s been interesting. I have a knack, as you may have gathered, for meeting people pretty much everywhere I go but actually putting yourself proactively back in the dating scene is sort of fascinating.  It has made me think about what’s really important. What I am really looking for. What I really care about.  And the answers are clear and yet not clear.  Post cancer I must say my perspective has, probably rightfully, changed a bit.  It has also been interesting to see what other people care about – i.e. potential suitors – while taking a deep plunge back into the life of being actively single in NYC.  Some men are very superficial – shocker I know. Thankfully, I apparently do not disappoint, and in fact surpass my photos, in the physical sense which I suppose is good.  Some “men” (term is used loosely on purpose) are introspective.  One liked to hunt, fish, hike and go boating while another, who lied about his height and age, touted his $2000 wallet from the oldest saddlery company in the UK which he had just purchased (the saddlery company that is).  One maintains an alkaline diet and does yoga seemingly non-stop while another golfs and eats primarily white carbs.  It’s been a while since I have proactively taken this stance and I frankly only did it because my Australian friend asked me when the last time was that I had a date in NYC.  And I honestly couldn’t remember.  The question gave me great pause actually.  I dated a few people from outside the country last year, outside the city the year before while undergoing treatment but in even NY state….hmmmm……I couldn’t remember the last date I had in the state or city.  So why the fuck not I figured.  And I should probably share that giving up the “F” word didn’t really work. I was up to $31 in 24 hours as apparently it turns out that my mother was right about something and I do have a mouth like a sailor.  I decided four days in that, while I am trying to figure out my career and start dating again, I simply couldn’t afford to also give up the “F” word. Life is too stressful and it was simply too expensive of an enterprise so I abandoned the idea. Next year back to sugar.

Anyway, spring is trying to bloom in NYC.  I went to a Yankees game tonight as well as two weeks ago.  I must admit that when I enter that stadium I can’t help but think about the fact that I turned down a date with Derek Jeter.   Now I am a baseball fan but I have always been a Phillies fan.  Growing up outside of Philadelphia after all. So it was, GASP, ten years ago when my friend Brian and I went to a party at Tavern on the Green and I played the awesome wing woman that I have been known to be.  I was a few cocktails in and I asked Brian who he wanted to meet. He pointed to an attractive girl and I said “ok I got it.” I walked over to her and said “Hi. My friend over there is a great guy and I would love to introduce you.” She responded that she was married. Albeit, again I must mention that I had a few cocktails and I am a GOOD friend thus I retorted “Well, I can’t imagine that your husband is any better than my friend over there” as I pointed. She came back with “I am married to Jorge Posada.” I said “I have no idea who that is.” She said “he’s the catcher for the Yankees.” I boldly said “well…(pause)…he can’t be that much better than my friend but I understand.” So I befriended Laura and, as we casually chatted, she mentioned she had a cute sister.  Perfect I thought as we sashayed our way back to Brian and I introduced Laura who became our friend for the evening.  About an hour later after getting to know one another a bit, Laura said to me (in front of Brian) “I want to set you up with someone.” “Who?’ I said. “Derek Jeter” she said. “He’s not my type” was my instantaneous response. Brian gasped. She said “really? Because you are completely his type.” I said “really.” And the subject was dropped for a while. Later, she was leaving she gave me her card and said “if you change your mind give me a call. Seriously. You are totally his type.”  I never called or emailed her.  Brian scolded me that night and for many nights thereafter.

In July of 2011, I picked up the New York Times and, on the front page, there was a photo of Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada hugging after Jeter hit 3,000.  I called Brian, who I hadn’t spoken to in a few years since he moved to Miami. When he answered the phone, my first sentence was “remind me why I didn’t want to go on a date with Derek Jeter?”  He emphatically stated “I have no idea. I would have gone on a date with him!” Yup I thought as I stared at the newspaper that day and as I watched him play tonight as his team begins a steep decline for the season.  My prediction after a 13 to 1 loss against the Angels tonight.  That said, perhaps I should have gone on the date just for the story….although this is a pretty good story in my opinion and, in the end, as many have said, I would have ended up with the standard token basket of crap he sends after his dates.  Good decision.  Still not my type.  Dating and Yankees games – yes this is what comes to mind. 

A few photos of NYC where spring is desperately trying to spring, interesting and  thought provoking scenes, new friends as well as, of course, Yankee stadium. Oh and the hugging picture of course!!

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Boy can I relate to this…

 

 

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New friends with a new idea…albeit not tremendously unique but they were enthusiastic…

 

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In case you are interested…

 

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I couldn’t resist…

 

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When spring doesn’t come to you, you have to go find it. At the Botanical Gardens Orchid Show….amazing…

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