Weird Shit Velcro – Stories About Navigating The Human Landscape

I have captivated all of my friends and family for many years with my dating and daily life stories. Thus, this blog is my opportunity to share these amusing and ridiculous anecdotes with anyone who is interested, bored with their life, passing time or just has the awesome, shit ass luck to run upon it by chance. If nothing else, you will be entertained…start with March 20 "You will be entertained….too good to make up."


I planned the meeting, you’re seeing sophie the psychic, everything’s happening!

My friend, Mark, emphatically made this statement during our second glass of wine at my house and my Thursday night out began.   I don’t know about you but I didn’t even know what that sentence meant and I am not sure that I do now. But it sounded enticing.

We took a cab to the UWS.  Now I must admit, that I am a bit of a planner. I can roll with it and go with the flow as long as there is some sort of end game in sight. Although I shouldn’t sell myself short because I had two weeks of no real plan in SF and I figured it out day by day. Anyway, I was a bit on edge Thursday night as I was waiting for some medical test results and I was very thirsty. The kind of I-need-booze-to-kill-the-mental-pain-of-what-I-may-learn-when-the-biopsy-results-come-back sort of thirsty.

The alleged psychic wasn’t ready when we arrived at her building and Mark, not a planner I learned then, had no idea where to go. I marched us to the closest bar/restaurant as I was in semi-desperate need of a beverage.  For someone who has never been a big drinker I am probably at an all time high in terms of alcohol tolerance and this night it was mandatory.

The blond, female, Czech bartender ignored me but as she served all the male patrons I became more irritable and hence, more thirsty. As I explained the concise reasons for my agitation to my new friend of the night “Scooter” who looked like a line backer, he expeditiously got the attention of the I-hate–waiting-on-other-women-bartender and got me a drink. I know some girls and ladies out there reading this have experienced this sort of discrimination so you understand and if you haven’t then you are damn lucky. I generally don’t use real names on here but I really can’t come up with anything better than the real name of “Scooter” for this guy…Image

Mark was a bit horrified by my behavior and thought I had alienated Scooter so he shuffled me to a table quickly as I reassured him that my aggravation was warranted. We needed another seat for the psychic anyway he said as he justified the move because we all couldn’t fit at the bar.

Back story on Mark…He is my semi-new but I feel like I have known him for a lifetime because we went to the same college and know all the same people, male (clearly!), architect, divorced friend who happens to meet a lot of interesting people. And he nicknames them – sort of like me!  In the two months I have known him, he has mentioned a Russian hypnotist who he hooked up with, a financial healer and a sex addict “friend” which I think for a guy who is recently divorced rocks!  Except, as he has mentioned many times, when a sex addict gets psychologically and/or emotionally attached it can be quite problematic.  I should mention that when we met randomly at a bar where we were both alone, the first words he muttered sort of under his breath as he tried to get a drink were “I hate people”. To which I responded “I am in touch with that emotion Have a seat.” Next thing we knew we played the name game from our alma mater and his close friends were good friends of mine. Small, weird world.  Maybe an hour plus later I was at his house around the corner drinking scotch on his deck and being invited to go skiing in VT with said mutual friends that weekend.  I do think people come in and out of your life for a reason. Or a season.

Anyway, finally his friend, the Dutch psychic arrived. We pleasantly conversed and ordered sushi. She was talking about Internet dating as she had met a guy and they both had talked about their spirit guides. Mark was surprised that she put that out there before she met him and, when I asked what spirit guides meant, her demeanor completely changed and she said she was connecting with my spirit guides.  Her eyes closed and her nose bewitchedly twitched. She asked questions out loud for permission to talk to my spirit guides and apparently a lot of information came through.

Now mind you, I had ingested several cocktails by this point and the restaurant was a bit loud so my processing abilities were somewhat compromised. The comprehension level was low as my buzzed state was coupled with the fact that the subject matter was completely foreign to me. Additionally, my buddy Scooter initially sent me a double shot of patron silver via our server which I promptly gave to Mark as I have had way to many bad tequila experiences which have put me off that specific sauce permanently.  Then Scooter came over to the table to see how I was doing and continually asked what he could get me or do for me and the next thing I knew I had another grey goose and tonic (two limes) in front of me and big, line-backeresque Scooter was practically sitting on my lap! Guess I didn’t completely alienate him I said to Mark. He was extremely nice although I think his alcohol consumption had surpassed mine exponentially during the time we were there.Image

One take-away from the psychic which she reiterated in email yesterday was the following: “In all of your past lives you were like a cosmic librarian. You are an information gatherer and disseminator.  You are capable of being a media queen!”

Mind you that this girl, to my knowledge, knew nothing about me but what I do for a living is essentially retrieve information, process it and create strategy and/or communications campaigns. I also have an immense cranial archive of a wide variety of information and topics. I did write her to ask if my theoretical (or real) spirit guides could help me out with the details on how to accomplish this and she said absolutely. So apparently there will be follow up meetings….and she was a cool chick aside from the nose twitch thing so I look forward to hanging!

Just another interesting night out in NYC. What can I say!?

PS – most importantly test results were all benign – THANK GOD! I truly have never been so happy in my entire life and will be embarking on some new things and travel in the near future so stay tuned!! This blog may become my adventures as I travel around the world!