Jimmy Kimmel mentioned tonight that there are some things that he hates about weddings. Well, you know what I hate? I hate that there is no such thing as a divorce gift. Not for the people who get divorced. Rather for their poor loyal friends or at a minimum for those who were in the wedding party who have been supportive and listened to all the bitching and moaning for however long it went on – sometimes it has been many, many, many years.
I think that when people get divorced they should buy every member of their wedding party a bottle of Jack or Cristal or something that says “thanks for listening to all my bs and putting up with me for all these years….oh and for the engagement, shower, wedding and baby gifts.” WHY IS THERE NO SUCH THING AS A DIVORCE GIFT FOR THE FRIENDS THAT HUNG IN THERE WITH YOU!?
God knows I have been in 10+ weddings and worn dresses in almost every hideous shade of the rainbow in a variety of styles that designers should just be shot for creating. I have helped plan, paid for and attended engagement parties, wedding showers, bachelorette parties, weddings – both local and destinations far away, baby showers, christenings, after the birth baby gifts and the list goes on. I have patiently listened to umpteen stories, handed out tissues, become a soggy shoulder for tears, gone out drinking and done too many shots in comradeship with unhappy male and female friends, provided legal advice (I am luckily a non-practicing attorney), provided names of lawyers, found shrinks for kids, marriage counselors for the unhappy tortured couple, mediators to try to work it our amicably etc – you get the picture. But I have wondered for years about why no one has come up with the idea of a divorce gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive but it should just be something that says “thanks for hanging in there through all of the shit with me.” It’s just an idea…..thoughts? Anyone? Bueller?
I happen to think it’s a good one…..and long overdue! I think I am owed at least a case of Cristal by now. Damn.